The Importance Of Rest In Your 40’s
I have been tired a lot lately.
So much so that I have grown tired of being tired.
And I was lamenting over Voxer to my friend and business bff that I get frustrated that a simple nap doesn’t fix it all.
I get frustrated that I need different types of rest in order to feel more like myself, to feel energized.
I mean, who has time for that?!?
Well, this is when my friend schooled me on rest using my own teachings about food and body.
Do you know that she pointed out that if she only ate steak that she wouldn’t be satisfied because she also needs a potato and a vegetable and salt and sweet? And don't I say that we need different kinds of food to do different things for our body?
And then she proceeded to point out that don’t I always preach non-judgement when it comes to food and the many reasons why we might want to eat something? That food is not just fuel but also comfort and pleasure and symbolic and cultural and familial. That we can choose to eat for a lot of reasons beyond hunger and that those reasons are important for our wellbeing too?
Dang.
And there it was, a beautiful parallel to my grievances about my body needing too much in the ways of rest…my own words used to teach me.
The nerve!
It was exactly the talk I needed.
Once women start claiming literal space for themselves with their bodies, they start to become boundary setting badasses and claim space for themselves in all areas of their lives.
Because she is so right. In the same way that eating the same things everyday, eating for fuel only, and disregarding the other ways that food provides would leave me feeling depleted, expecting a nap to take care of all of my rest needs would also…leave me feeling depleted.
And I KNOW this, the problem is that I am being judgy about it.
There are things that I can do that I know make me feel better, more like myself. And I have found it difficult lately to take the time to do those things. Mostly because I am believing a lie that I have been trained to believe as truth, that if I take that time for myself that I am being selfish and everything will fall apart without me and I will have more work to do later as a result. Oh, and that I matter more when I accomplish things that I can check off a to do list and that to do list certainly does not include rest.
I think that is all the lies, although there could be some still lurking.
I, and I am guessing you might relate too, so, WE have learned along that way that we shouldn’t need too much. Or maybe even that we shouldn’t need at all. That we should be able to go and do and push to the end of ourselves at work and at home and in our marriages to make sure everyone’s needs are met and then and only then have we done our jobs as women.
But this is not only unsustainable, it is also impossible.
I think operating under this level of chronic stress takes a toll on women and this really starts showing up in our bodies and our minds and our emotions in our 40’s.
And let me ask you this, if meeting everyone’s needs (unfair lie) is up to us, then isn’t meeting our own needs up to us also?
We need to be able to rest, in all the ways that we need, and it is up to us to make sure we are taken care of in this way.
And that might require us setting and holding boundaries with others and ourselves.
In case you can resonate with any of this, I want to share with you the types of rest that I know I need regularly (think weekly) in order to feel like myself:
Enough quality sleep - and if it is not happening at night then a nap
Solitude - uninterrupted time by myself. Let me emphasize uninterrupted.
Time outside - it can be in any form: sitting, walking, working in the yard or eating outside etc.
Creating - right now it is paint by numbers for me
Laying down-reading or watching tv
I hope that this list and this blog gives you permission to need different types of rest and to figure out what to do to take it for yourself.
Hi! I’m Meg and I help women stress and obsess less about food and their body so that they can enjoy life more and make a bigger impact on this world!
If you want to become more nutrition and body confident, click the button below to get my free video and workbook series, and learn the 4 steps that are essential for women in their 40’s to thrive.